Tea With a Mad Girl

do I love you or what you are?
I hate this desire I no longer speak
of what use is it anyway?
would you believe if I told you?
would you believe I can’t show you?

can I love you and not what you are?
it scares me to think that I should do so
you are so beautiful you see
would you believe I could want you?
would you believe my desire’s true?

will I love you and what you are?
how can I refuse when both are lovely
and my dreams whisper you name
would you believe I should fear this?
would you believe in my silence?

do I love you or what you are?
perhaps you will never know, nor shall I
greater care will silence bring
would you believe my sacrifice?
would you believe love’s dearest cost?

buy me a brush
so I can paint your eyes gray
close your sweet lips
and I will… take your hand
your words are my soul
and there’s no turning back
you gave me a…

whisper a lie
I need something to guide me
don’t look away
I hate that I can’t walk alone
I try to each day
still I’m starving for life
you gave me a…

up in a dream
I still taste your bitter mouth
unwillingly
say you will never see me again
I live alone now
no need for funeral
you gave me a…

that highest
blinding pinacle of bright joy
you are the stars
hoping
in the blackened night

you are heaven in all its
wisened beauty

and I
for lack of you
am in hell

the icy pit
satan’s eternal cage
resides within my belly

torturous fires
fry my nerves
panic overrides logic

suicide trees
have replaced my dreams
with silence

shall I place all my dreams
inside a glass box?
as they tumble and turn
and fall upon rocks

shall I place all my hope
inside a small shoe?
for there shall they rest
with nothing to do

shall I place all my trust
inside a stone jar?
like so many secrets
whispered afar

shall I place all my love
inside of you?
I thought that I would but
your heart isn’t true

shall I place all my dreams
inside a glass box?
so they’ll fall from my hands
and break upon rocks

the soap upon my skin
shampoo upon my hair

I am made of white

toothpaste in my mouth
toilet paper beneath

I am made of white

shirt over my head
bra upon my breasts

I am made of white

bread into the toaster
milk within my glass

I am made of white

semen in my mother
many years ago

I am made of white

There once was a girl, so they say
Who preferred women to men anyday
Her parents got mad
They said she was bad
She said “I’m not bad, I’m just gay.”

[kanji/kana]

はるか昔のことなのでよく覚えていません
手伝っていただけたら、ありがたいです
あきらめが肝心です
きょおは波が荒い
波が岸おあらって射る
あんな所で遊んは危ないな

[romanji]

Haruka mukashi no koto na no de yoku oboete imasen
Tetsudatte itadaketara, arigatai desu
Akirame ga kanjin desu
Kyoo wa nami ga arai
Nami ga kishi o aratte iru
Anna tokoro de asonde wa abunai na

[english]

It happened long ago, I do not remember it clearly
I would be grateful if you helped me
We should know when to give up
The sea is rough today
The waves crash upon the shore
It is dangerous to walk in such a place

*just a note: my japanese is horrible. I would never have accomplished this without my handy-dandy dictionary

obsidian, pure dark
please don’t leave me alone
for to see things clearly
is the power of this stone
the truth is a dagger
in a songwriter’s heart
exposes rare beauty
then tears the place apart
and we don’t like to hear
the words that bring pain
because then we repeat them
just to hear them again
we cry when it hurts
but the pain stays the same
growing and throbbing
so we all go insane

forced to leave her world of pez and pixie stix
forced into the world of jaw breakers
her dreams are too soft for reality
but she still wants to try
and she wants to be a hero
so she brings her guitar
a true song comes from her heart
too quiet to be heard

she’s a bright young star
no intentions of falling
a bright you star
see how she glows
in the dark blue night
now her dreams are all drowning
did you break her heart?

he didn’t share her dream
now he’s gone
left alone with her fear
she tries again
sorrow shakes her voice
anger rips words from her soul
it comes out of her throat
as sweet, sweet rock ‘n’ roll

she’s a bright young star
no intentions of falling
a bright you star
see how she glows
in the dark blue night
now her dreams are all drowning
did you break her heart?

still she sings
sweet sad sparrow
locked in a cage of unhearing ears
the music pours from her broken heart
but broken music doesn’t sell
and too soon her life will end
too much like her songs
a waste of breath

did you break her heart?
her brightness falters

she’s a fallen star

the wind blows chilly
across the nothern plains
but my heart was frozen long before

I had no fear
but you
you are my undoing

what could be wrong with me
why must I always fall
for the fallen angel

my tongue lusts for the taste
of forbidden fruit
just one last chance?

あなたのきせき

I can feel the change in me
now I’m someone new
or maybe it’s all the same

天使の声

you echo in my ears
how I miss you
you laughter is so pale

愛してる

this path is dangerous
the ice is thin
return me to my icy coffin