Title: Unwanted
Author: nutmeg kawano
Contact: miphileg@ hotmail.com
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Personal work.
Warnings: aNGsT.
Summary: Dark, bitter.
Note: Just trying to write off a mood.

Alone and tired. That’s how she felt most of the time, now. She was used to it, though. It was a common occurance in her life to be abandoned, neglected, unwanted. As far as she knew, that was the only possible way to be.

It hurt her, cut her deep, yet no matter what she tried, she just couldn’t pull herself from this misery of hers. It stuck to her like spiderwebs on a fly’s wings and she suspected the end result would be just as gruesome.

She had allowed herself to fall in love once or twice. Of course, every time was a disaster. She would do everything in her power to make the one she loved happy, but they never tried, never truly loved her back. She was left unsatisfied and in the end, alone.

For years she had avoided such relationships. “Love” was a forbidden term around her. Even so, after years of denying it, she found herself falling again. Dangerous and fast as her infatuations often were, she fell in deep and soon found herself drowning within the emotion.

At first, it seemed like everything she wanted, and she thought there might be a chance that she might actually be happy. The facade was soon replaced with the familiar feeling of loneliness, though. For though she gave all her heart, the one she loved claimed no love at all. Still she loved this one, uncaring that she got nothing in return, uncaring of the words said which unintentionally tore her heart apart. That one need never know the true pain she felt. They would only know of her love.

She chewed on her lip, biting down the bitter tears that threatened to invade the plains of her cheeks. She didn’t want to cry, not this time, not again. She wanted to talk to the one. The one who made her tears, but also dried them. The one who made her feel that just maybe she had a chance.

But the one obviously had better uses for their time.

So she sat, alone and unwanted. Feeling all the emotions she had kept close to her as long as she could remember. She found no tranquility in her solitude. Only hunger.